Eleven.

Eleven. 

He started off his morning as an eleven year old just like he has most mornings for the last several years. Snuggled up on the couch, streaming YouTube videos and asking me if I could even believe what I was seeing. 

His birthdays have always made me reflective. 

Eleven sounds old. 

It sounds like we’re headed to the back half of childhood.

Birthdays. They’re benchmarks, right? 

Right after he turned two, the autism diagnosis came. 

When he turned five, the fact that autism had officially been a part of our lives for the majority of it felt big to me. It was like there was a dividing line, the before and the after- when in reality it had been there all along. 

When he turned seven, he really started to let us in. The personality came out and we kept falling in love with him even more. 

Nine was when we figured out he was an epic trash talker. Although the debate is still on whether that skill is nature or nurture. 😉 

But eleven? 

At eleven, autism has taken a backseat. It’s no longer riding shot gun. It’s there, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not at the forefront anymore. When you get a diagnosis at two- your life centers around it. There are constant therapies, interventions, and doctors appointments. There are eggshells to tiptoe around because everyone is still figuring this all out. But now, at eleven- he goes everywhere with us. He asks for dinner places he loves. He gathers everybody in the family room to play a game he wants us to do with him. He texts in the family group chat. He can order his food at the Float. He’ll usually respond when the staff persons open the car door at the curb at school and says good morning or asks how he is doing. He loves a good pun, and has no problem telling somebody to get their shit together. He calls us Emily and Ken, which is hilarious. He has no patience for Riley and her tendency to sleep in, or her lack of video game skills but loves her and the parade of friends she brings around endlessly. He took a huge leap at school this year and has been blowing it out of the water. He loves HGTV (Good Bones and Renovation Island are his favorites) and NFL Network.  

But mostly, when I think about eleven? 

I will think about the fact that this was the year that the world finally caught up to him, stopped expecting him to fit in their box and instead made room for him.  

And if you can’t make room for a kid who says things like-

“YOU KNOW WHAT IS BETTER THAN CHAOS…..INFINITE CHAOS!!” 

Or in the middle of a PHS football game-

“KEN A QUESTION, DO YOU HATE CATS?” 

Then what the heck are we even doing?? 

Happy Birthday to the little dude who came along and changed our stars, who loves memes, his Hydroflask, cheering for touchdowns with me, shopping on Amazon, eating at the Float and Dexter’s (#IYKYK)and making people laugh. Thanks for changing my perspective on life, love, and showing us all how to live life being unapologetically yourself at all times.

Cheers to eleven. 

Maybe twelve is when you’ll eat your birthday cake? 

Eh, probably not.