Author Archives: emandu

I actually said the words “what else could go wrong??”  The next thing I knew I was sitting in a Pediatric Urgent Care with a child screaming at the top of lungs about how his ears hurt and that the doctor was taking too long and needed to move very more quickly.  That about sumsContinue reading “Ramblings From A Month Of, well Chaos.”

When they give you the “autism” diagnosis they do a lot of things- one of which is recommend you call your insurance company right away and find out what your coverage is. One of the most frustrating things as a special needs parents is finding out that the gaps between your child’s needs and theirContinue reading “Lily”

When you go hiking, or rafting or something like that you usually get a guide. Somebody who knows the ins and outs of your route, is trained in emergency response, things like that. When your 18 month old is diagnosed with “global developmental delays” you get a guide too. Except he or she is calledContinue reading “The Best Guide”

All it takes is a spark. Sometimes that spark is a person who relentlessly believes in your kid as much, if not a little bit more than you do. There’s a process- we all go through it. You sit in a doctor’s office and you get a diagnosis. And it’s kind of like The Matrix-Continue reading “Just One”

It’s taken a couple of weeks for me to be able to put this into words- thank you. For supporting our family. For loving our kids. For believing in me- in us. For accepting and loving- unconditionally. I’m waiting for the approval paperwork come in the mail… and then the fun begins. #AhoyBlueSailor

When we got the call that Dave had passed, we began planning our trip to say goodbye immediately. It was the first time our kids had been to a memorial, and I wrestled with how much or how little to explain to them. Seton had already been diagnosed with autism, and Riley was a justContinue reading “Ahoy Blue Sailor: The Origin Story”

I noticed it yesterday as I flipped through some pictures on my phone. I’m picture obsessed, there’s something about capturing the moments and freezing them in time. A picture brings me back to the moment, the smells, the smiles, the emotions. I take probably 30 pictures a day. When I look back at pictures fromContinue reading “Musings”

It’s quite isolating. We preach togetherness, and inclusion, when this whole experience is the complete opposite. Excluded. The questions, the stares. They come from everywhere now. Even other kids. “Do you talk?” I still struggle with how to answer that. Do I make excuses? Do I start a conversation that child’s parents aren’t ready toContinue reading “Moving Past”

I paused today as I left his preschool. Other kids, wholly engaged, answering the questions and watching the teacher’s every move. Him sitting at the end staring off at something only he knows exists. It shatters my heart into ten million pieces on the floor to see. The self doubt begins to creep in. “AreContinue reading “Navigating the Path”

I’m not by nature a very open person. It takes awhile for me to get to a comfortable point with other people, where I feel like I can lay it all out on the table. In 2008 I finally took the plunge and realized the internal conflicts I was constantly battling from day to dayContinue reading “In His Shoes”